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Still-at-home survival tips for children

5/29/2020

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This, what seems like an extended vacation time, is the ideal time for all children everywhere to let their creative juices flow! Even as they attempt to keep up with some level of formal academic work, there is less time assigned to this at present and more time is being spent on finding different, creative, practical and more innovative ways to both learn and play.
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Here are some suggestions to add to your growing toolbox/playbox:

  • Teach children basic stretches and breathing exercises and encourage them to do these as a morning routine when they get out of bed. This can help them to feel calm, more in control and mentally energized to face another day at home.
  • Make it a fun activity by incorporating some imagery - "stretch up tall as a mountain, open arms wide as a river, bend over to the ground like a giraffe drinking water.."  "Breathe in slowly as if filling up a balloon with air, then breathe out slowly as if gently blowing away bubbles:.
  • Bring out all the puzzles and board games - choose one or two a day for a week or whatever time frame works, depending on the age of the children.
  • Older children may enjoy the challenge to make their own board game or puzzle,
  • Let children elect an events coordinator for the week, from among siblings or cousins or friends - to plan various activities, for example:
  •  - making puppets and putting on a puppet show
  •  - planning and presenting a music concert
  •  - Having a costume party
  •  - setting up a games night
  • They can collaborate and share this via online communication with relatives and friends, or just immediate family.
  • Making up poems verbally can be a fun activity for children and adults to engage in together.
  • Have children write a story or put together their own book. They can also create a story by drawing pictures only.
  • Play games such as "I spy" or set up a treasure hunt for younger ones.
  • Allow children to engage in some physical activity everyday whether inside or outside - playing moral or hopscotch, skipping, hula-hoop, football, basketball, kite-flying, etc.
  • Encourage children to plant a garden or grow seedlings from seeds of fruit and vegetables that they have eaten themselves.
  • Have children make a scrapbook in which they draw and colour pictures of all the plants. flowers, and trees in the yard and learn their names as they do so.
  • Allow children to talk about their frustrations and concerns. Acknowledge their feelings.
  • ​Allow children to have some down time.
  • Brainstorm with your children and come up with your own creative ideas!
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Everyday coping reminder tips for parents

5/29/2020

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As the uncertainty shifts beneath our feet and plans for reopening are being laid out, parents need to find ways to stay grounded and maintain stability for their children. Planning ahead and remembering to look after yourself are key to effective coping.

  • Plan for the week with children's input so that there are things to look forward to.
  • Develop a schedule around activities of daily living so that there is predictability and everyone knows what to expect.
  • Be flexible - Pick and choose your battles. For example, you may decide to overlook bed-making or packing away of toys or books at certain times in certain areas, or switch times of scheduled activities.
  • Search for free activities and resources online - there are many available at the present time.
  • Support your children in building activities around their interests.
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MAKE SELF-CARE A PRIORITY :
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  • Build a daily exercise routine - if you own exercise equipment, use it. Workout to youtube videos, make several laps around your house, walk up and down stairs several times, set up an obstacle course in your yard, There are many creative ways to fit exercise into your day.
  • Connect with nature by doing some gardening or simply sitting and taking in the beautiful vegetation around you - sights, sounds, scents.
  • Sing - both in the shower and out of the shower. Set up sing-a-long and karaoke sessions.
  • Remember to laugh, watch comedies.
  • Check-in with your spouse/partner or other adults in the house as to how things are going.
  • Be aware of what triggers each person's anxiety or irritability.
  • Schedule some alone time to self-nurture. Each person in the house should have some alone time. Even if physical space is tight, some psychological space can be beneficial.
  • Make a plan for what you will do if someone in the house becomes ill.
  • Restrict your use of social media
  • Monitor your children's consumption of repetitive and sensational news.
  • Choose a responsible news source and listen to a limited amount of disturbing or negative news stories.
  • Read inspirational and uplifting material.
  • Avoid watching news late at night or first thing in the morning. Use these times to self-nurture and rejuvenate.
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To end with a quote:

           "The present moment is the only moment available to us, and it is the door to all moments".
​                                                                                                                                                                   Thich Nhat Hanh
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Managing Pandemic-Related Anxiety

5/20/2020

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Anxiety in and of itself is not bad or dangerous. It is in fact a very natural part of the human experience. Anxiety helps to motivate and energize us to complete many important tasks such as studying for and writing exams, preparing for presentations, organizing events, executing household chores and providing care for those around us. When anxiety increases it can feel uncomfortable, and when it becomes extreme it can feel debilitating. When anxiety seriously affects someone’s ability to function in their everyday lives it is usually recommended that they seek professional help to learn how to manage their symptoms.


The below steps are some practical approaches that can be helpful to parents and care givers when dealing with pandemic-related anxiety:


  • Acknowledge that we are unable to change the situation, we can only change our reaction to the situation.
  • Recognize that because our external structure to a large extent has disappeared, (work, school, sports, religious worship etc.), it is important to organize our interior lives to compensate. Developing a structured approach to each day helps to provide predictability and productivity, along with a sense of accomplishment. So for example, making a schedule that has specific blocks of time for eating meals, household chores, work activities, play activities, digital social interaction, physical exercise, meditation and entertainment- movies, board games etc. , and relaxation, will give us that sense of purposeful living.
  • With the unpredictability swirling around outside, it is important for us to set boundaries on the inside. Along with structuring time, saying no to excessive demands and taking time for self-care are vital to maintaining mental and physical well-being. And to reinforce what is already well known: eating well, sleeping well, and regular physical exercise must be given priority. Without these foundation blocks of healthy existence it is difficult to function effectively in other aspects of our lives.
  • By recognizing and paying some attention to symptoms of anxiety we can quite readily implement strategies to mitigate their effects. So if we become aware of that feeling of uneasiness and irritability possibly triggered by the fact that we can no longer meet that friend, or drive by for a doubles, we can try to articulate the feeling to someone close, and then come up with alternatives such as making a fun snack at home, laying in a hammock with a cold coconut water, cuddling with a spouse and/or child, or looking at old pictures in an album and reminiscing. These are of course examples, and you can choose any positive activity that will work for you.
  • When anxiety is provoked by a thought that comes into your head, it may help to ask: “is this thought helpful?” and “Is it helpful right now?”. If it is not, you can consciously dismiss it by using creative visualization to watch it float away on a cloud in the sky or on a leaf down the stream, or place it in a file in your mental file box for later use if necessary. It is important to differentiate thoughts that are based on fear and thoughts that are based on reality.

When children are displaying symptoms of anxiety adults need to acknowledge this and allow them to articulate what they are thinking and feeling. Some techniques for helping children to manage anxiety are as follows:


  • Validate their feelings and thoughts. Let them know that it is okay to express them
  • Explain things to them as appropriate for their age
  • Hug them and reassure them
  • Teach them child appropriate breathing exercises – Gently placing your hands on your tummy, slowly breathe in, counting 1-2-3-4, feel tummy rising like a balloon, then slowly breathe out counting 1-2-3-4, as if you are lightly blowing bubbles through your lips. Repeat 4 or 5 times
  • Practice yoga stretches with them – some favourites are mountain pose, tree pose, eagle pose and downward dog. Any other stretches will work just as well.
  • Encourage them to start a garden or look after a plant
  • Allow them to help to look after a pet
  • Make available activities that can help to distract them such as puzzles, building blocks, activity books etc.
  • Allow them to expend energy through indoor dance party/ exercise or outdoor play activities
  • Include them in activities with adults in maintaining order in the home
Normalizing feelings for children can help them to be more at ease with the unusual circumstances in which we find ourselves in the past few weeks. “It’s okay to feel fearful, it’s normal to feel anxious, worrying is expected”. Having adults listen to their concerns, discuss with them, and assist them in determining what will help them to feel more secure and in control is an important aspect of managing their anxiety. It is not helpful for children to be told “you shouldn’t feel…” and “you shouldn’t think…”. Instead, by acknowledging their thoughts and feelings and discussing with them, “help me to understand what made you feel or think…” they will feel respected and valued and be more likely to communicate openly with adults in the home.
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Maintaining Balance

5/20/2020

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“We’re all in this together” is the phrase being flashed at us via all types of media in an attempt to create a sense of connection, belonging, and meaning in a world that seems to be screeching to a halt with closed borders and physical distancing being the order of the day.  Self-isolation, stay-at-home, lock-down, social distancing, have now become everyday terms being used to describe our present state of existence. Making rapid progression in a matter of weeks, this previously unknown and not well understood virus named Covid19 has overtaken the globe and is, as it were, holding us all to ransom.


So yes, we are all in this together, this collective trauma, characterized by “lack of predictability, immobility, loss of connection, loss of sense of time and sequence, numbing out and spacing out, and loss of safety” (Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.).  Yet we are all experiencing this world crisis differently. Some may be feeling anxious and fearful, some may be feeling calm and controlled, and some may be feeling numb and helpless.


Whatever the state we may find ourselves in on any given day, we need to remember that what we are feeling is a normal reaction to an abnormal situation.


When the thoughts pop into your head: “What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I pull it together? Why am I not functioning as I normally do?”, the answer is: “Because you are a human being, a vulnerable human being, with strengths and weaknesses, thoughts and emotions, just like every other human being.” We are all in this together, whether we are sitting alone, or isolating with family, whether we are worried about running out of food and money, or have a well-stocked pantry. There seems to be a psychological thread that is running through every single person on the earth at present that is holding us all together, mobilizing us to fight this invader and to survive its destruction. There also seems to be an emotional bond stretched across the world that is gently supporting and lifting those who are intensely focused on and stressed by dealing with the logistics of managing this pandemic.


Now more than ever, the old adage “one day at a time”, and sometimes breaking it down to “one hour at a time”, seems to be the way to move forward. The uncertainty which we are all facing can bring with it a sense of paralysis which we need to actively work to overcome. This  heightened level of anxiety, sometimes bordering on panic and paranoia, can be effectively managed by following simple guidelines and implementing self-regulating techniques.


For parents, caregivers and other adults that may be having difficulty managing anxiety, here is a format that may be helpful:


  • Stop whatever you are engaged in and allow yourself to become aware of the physiological and emotional symptoms that you are experiencing. Sometimes actually writing them down can be helpful to alleviate their effect.
  • Ground yourself if you are feeling overwhelmed – feel yourself sitting in a chair, feel your feet firmly planted on the ground, feel your arms on the arms of the chair and your body firmly supported by the chair. Look around the room or space that you are in and name five things that you see.
  • Breathe deeply  – take a deep breath in slowly counting 1-2-3-4-hold for 1-2- then breathe out slowly counting 1-2-3-4. Repeat this four to five times. (There are many versions of deep breathing exercises. Use which variation works best for you).
  • Ask yourself: “In this moment, what am I grateful for?” come up with at least five things.
  • Take three more deep breaths.
  • Ask yourself: “In this moment what am I able to control?”
  • Take more deep breaths
  • Then determine a course of action or next steps. Writing these down can help with forward-thinking and control.
Meditation, exercise, gardening/connecting with nature, and healthy adult conversation are also tools to help with managing anxiety and maintaining balance.



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Quarantine Quandary

5/6/2020

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Though it feels like we’ve been thrown headlong into a world of digital communication, engaging in way more online interactions than our previous normal, it is important to pay attention in this new normal to the amount and quality of screen time our children are allowed to use in any given day.
Watching television shows and movies, whether for school-related or entertainment purposes, should be determined and agreed upon by both adults and children, so that there is a time to turn on and a time to turn off.
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Due to the fact that video chatting is now the new normal for social interaction, this amount of screen time needs to be taken into account as well. Any screen time should be purposeful and meaningful, not random and passive.
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Many of the media gurus have stated that this challenging pandemic reality warrants flexibility with screen time for children, but that does not mean that there should be no control.

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    Author

     Lystra Mahabir-Mongroo BA/BSW, MSW.
    EMDR II, C.HYP. 


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