Helping our Youth Develop Resiliency

Pandemic restrictions are taking their toll on us all, one year in and counting…….Our young people struggling with online school, or restricted in-person school, greatly diminished social activities, and little or no outdoor activities, need the support and guidance of the significant adults in their lives , now more than ever.

It is well-known that talking through our frustrations and challenges with someone who is actively listening and validating our experience can be very helpful in relieving negative or distressing emotions. Being there for our youth and offering them this support is essential to their development of coping skills in these unprecedented times. Also, acknowledging and normalizing setbacks and feelings of overwhelm, while encouraging creative initiatives in adapting to individual situations will help to foster resilience.

The 7 C’s : The Essential Building Blocks of Resiliency, presented below, was developed by Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg, paediatrician and author, and provides a useful framework in referencing the development of resiliency in young people.

Bottom Line #1: Young people live up or down to expectations we set for them. They need adults who believe in them unconditionally and hold them to the high expectations of being compassionate, generous, and creative.
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• Competence: When we notice what young people are doing right and give them opportunities to develop important skills, they feel competent. We undermine competence when we don't allow young people to recover themselves after a fall.
• Confidence: Young people need confidence to be able to navigate the world, think outside the box, and recover from challenges.
• Connection: Connections with other people, schools, and communities offer young people the security that allows them to stand on their own and develop creative solutions.
• Character: Young people need a clear sense of right and wrong and a commitment to integrity.
• Contribution: Young people who contribute to the well‐being of others will receive gratitude rather than condemnation. They will learn that contributing feels good, and may therefore more easily turn to others, and do so without shame.
• Coping: Young people who possess a variety of healthy coping strategies will be less likely to turn to dangerous quick‐fixes when stressed.
• Control: Young people who understand privileges and respect are earned through demonstrated responsibility will learn to make wise choices and feel a sense of control.

Bo​ttom Line #2: What we do to model healthy resilience strategies for our children is more important than anything we say about them.

Recognizing then, that resilience is not just one characteristic, but rather the development of several positive coping mechanisms and healthy attitudes, we the adults need to provide the appropriate environment or fertile soil for the youth to nurture and grow their resiliency, so that they can flourish in spite of the challenges of pandemic life.

For further guidance re: developing resiliency contact Self-Care Psychotherapy at 714 5551 or [email protected]                    Lystra Mahabir-Mongroo, Psychotherapist